June 13, 2013

With Girls season two now long over, there is a hole in my heart where Lena Dunham and her body used to be. Luckily, I discovered her on Instagram, and while I still miss full-blown Hannah sessions, I’m now content to feel like I have Lena around most of the time, doing Lena things in Lena clothes.

The best thing about Lena’s Instagram is her penchant for posting outfit selfies. Selfies, true, get a bad rap most of the time, and most of the time they are horrifying and humiliating. But listen, I admit it: when I don’t know if an outfit is cool, I sometimes take a selfie and send it to a select few lady friends who I can trust to be honest with me. I’m not proud of it, but it’s a necessary evil. Sometimes clothes are confusing!

Lena does this too, except that instead of sharing these gems with a close friend, she chooses to share them with ME (and with her 462 THOUSAND followers). Her instagram is chock full of pictures that seem to be saying, “This is weird but I kind of like it. It’s good right? Weird but good?”

Lena, it’s weird AND good. Journey with me as I offer my opinion on some of Lena’s most dynamic outfit selfies – as if we really were best friends, which maybe we will be someday (please God).


This is an outfit that I’ve definitely put on during a getting ready session at some point in the past five years. The whole thing – the tights, the socks, the dress/shirt – all of it. I’m pretty sure I’ve actually pre-gamed in this outfit, and probably even taken a few shots while a Shakira song was playing, before deciding that I just. Couldn’t. Leave the house this way.

Lena can, though. And she does. I approve.



Lena looks great here. That shirt is so basic but I’m really into how it fits her. The pants too. All of it. Now I feel like I need polka dot pants, even though I’d never convince myself to actually wear them – but maybe just to wear around the house? I might do it. They’re so fifties, and such a good fit. Totally solid.



Although I tend to find that sunglasses of this general shape make people look like blind mice, I’m actually into these. I think it has to do with the interestingly shaped nose hook, if that’s what that apparatus is called? Regardless, I like what’s happening.



YO. This should NOT LOOK GOOD. But it looks SO GOOD. That’s what I think. That’s what I’m saying. I’m really into this, and it makes me feel like – should I be trying to show my less-than-perfect stomach more often? Definitely, I should be purchasing some rings like the ones she’s wearing. Dammit. I’m into it all. Somebody get me a lacy two-piece dress outfit! I’m doin it!



This, I’m not as into. Here’s the problem: I imagine that Lena is probably going somewhere normal, like lunch. And unfortunately, I think the only event where this outfit would be appropriate is a high school chorus concert, when serving as a member of a high school chorus. In fact, I’m certain that I wore similarly un-flattering things during high school chorus concerts, when our only instructions were to wear white tops and black bottoms and to try to stay focused despite the excitement of standing so close to each other (NOT easy. Chorus concerts were hormonally THRILLING).

Anyway, I always looked dumb in those outfits. And given that Lena is too old for high school chorus, I sadly cannot sanction this combo.



Something about this is gold for me, and I don’t just mean all the gold jewelry (sorry). I just think it looks cool on her. I want her to meet me for sushi in this outfit. I want to be wearing something similar. I want all her rings, again.



Dammit, I need a good raincoat. But I don’t think that THIS raincoat is actually that great. Although she does say in the caption that she got the bag from Mindy Kaling, so essentially, I don’t care how any of it looks, and I just want to be near it.

Also, not to be a jerk, but I’m just marveling at how everyone (me ESPECIALLY) looks so much better when wearing eye makeup. Maybe I’d even love this raincoat if she were wearing eye makeup! Right? Just saying.



The caption on this is something about never wearing pants in the morning… I gotta be honest, I’m not into it. I believe in pants; they exist for a very specific reason. Butts shouldn’t be so visibly BUTTS. Also, I don’t like the way that jacket thing is buttoned. Are we buttoning just the top buttons of things these days?



This looks kind of nice, but maybe it needs something? Maybe it’s because she’s not wearing any rings? This is the kind of dress that I wouldn’t get rid of, per say, but I also wouldn’t buy it again. It’s just fine.






I’m 90% sure this is a joke of some kind, but I’ll review it anyway. I don’t like it. So many things are happening – oh god, so many things.



Oh cool! I like it! I wish the top button wasn’t happening though… again, perhaps I’m just not up on that trend? But overall, so cool. Plus, Gatorade is so refreshing, specifically during hangovers. And blue is my favorite kind of Gatorade. An all-around success.



This is Lena’s latest Instagram outfit selfie. I wish we could see the whole thing. I think she looks just lovely – every viewable part of her.

My final best-friend words to Lena: you’re beautiful. I’m into lots of your choices. You make me feel cool about my belly, and I can’t wait to see what you wear next.

Love Lena with me on Portable.

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