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Michael Sheen Is Dating Sarah Silverman; We Get Judgey About His Ex-Girlfriends

February 13, 2014

I’m not a huge fan of Michael Sheen. It’s not that I hate him, or anything, it’s just that I find him rather annoying, and a little imp-ish. Not that there’s anything particularly wrong with imp-ish, I’m just saying that he’s not my type.

However, I am apparently in the minority, at least among super hot, talented Hollywood actresses. You see, there were reports yesterday that Sheen is dating Sarah Silverman — yes, that Sarah, she of extreme awesomeness, talent, power, and beauty. Or, as I like to think of her, My Sarah.

I’m feeling a little bit possessive, so let’s explore the dating history of my BFF’s new boyfriend to see how he made it to the holy grail.

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Kate Beckinsale

Michael Sheen was with Kate Beckinsale for eight years, from 1995 to 2003. Apparently she was bummed that he never proposed, and they broke up soon after re-locating to LA. They also have a kid together.

Kate, to me, is the perfect match for Michael. They’re both relatively attractive, relatively talented people. Neither of them are particularly funny or memorable (remember Serendipity? Ugh yeah). Why couldn’t have have stuck with that?

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Lorraine Stewart

I don’t know a lot about her (read: I know nothing aside from that she’s a ballet dancer), but I think she’s um, too hot for him. They dated for six years.

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Rachel McAdams

Rachel and Michael met on the set of Midnight in Paris. In that movie, she played a woman who was the worst, and he played a man who was the worst, and they really hit it off, thus causing her character to cheat on Owen Wilson with his character.

Anyway, they started dating in real life, and they dated for three years, until 2013. My opinion is that while Rachel has not lived up to her potential, she’s really talented and beautiful and funny and could do a lot better.

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Carrie Keagan

He dated the VH1′s Morning Buzz Host for like, a bit. But it was just a fling, so Sarah and I won’t over-analyze.

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Caitlin Fitzgerald

This one was just a rumor — they’re co-stars on Masters Of Sex, and they had lunch one day, is what it boils down to. Neither Sarah nor I are too worried about it or interested in it.

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Sarah Silverman

Finally, my girl Sarah.

Let’s chat about her for a moment. Sarah, age 44, is smokin hot, hilarious, and smart. She’s one of my favorite people on twitter, and my favorite tweet of hers was:

NO WOMAN HAS EVER CHANGED HISTORY BY COMPLAINING ABOUT HER THIGHS.

Basically, she’s wonderful, and a true icon for our time. Does she belong with Michael Sheen, aka 30 Rock’s Wesley? It’s not for me to say. But whether or not this lasts long-term, I think Sheen is a pretty lucky guy.

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