February 18, 2014
Now that we’re more than halfway through Season 3 of Girls (sob), it’s time to sit back, relax, and evaluate Hannah Horvath’s outfits.
Hannah has almost always dressed like an insane person, and — for the most part — this season is no different. Interestingly, Hannah occasionally hits it so so right — as I’ll get into below — but then it’s almost like she flees that right style, seeking instead to continue looking like an insane person. I think it’s because she believes that, as a talented, kooky writer, it’s important that she look the part. Which I guess she does.
Let’s rate her clothes this season, and then we’ll get into what she sometimes wears that she should always wear, and why.
This is not THE worst, but it’s definitely in the worst category. I’m not sure where she gets her clothes, but it seems like a combination of thrift shops, things she’s had her whole life and never gotten rid of, and stuff she’s taken from her mom/other people’s moms. This outfit is a perfect example of that.
My guess is that the shirt was someone’s moms, and the skirt she’s had since high school. They should not have been put together.
Hannah, you look nice! This simple dress fits well, and the cardigan over it achieves that perfect bohemian yet still not crazy look that I think she’s trying to achieve.
THIS DRESS IS THE BEST THING SHE WEARS THIS SEASON.
You can’t quite see it in this pic, but it fits her well, is interesting while being understated, and is the perfect level of fancy for one’s birthday party. It makes her body into a nice hourglass shape (which it kind of is). It’s working.
(I don’t hate the hat, either, but that might be more of a ‘me’ thing.)
This is also working in a serious way. It is, actually, the perfect funeral dress. It fits, it’s flattering, it’s not revealing, it has an interesting thing happening with the arms. It sure beats the hell out of the funeral dress that I bought at TJ Maxx four years ago and have reluctantly trotted out a number of times since.
This is also not the best, it’s just in the best category, ’cause it’s fine. I would wear a zip up hoodie with fun designs on it with a skirt, and I’d look decent, just like Hannah does here.
Ahh, I really hate this for some reason. This is, if you recall, the outfit that she picked out with seemingly NO THOUGHT while she fought with Adam about the appropriate reaction to David’s death.
Anyway, she put this on, and it’s just sort of my nightmare. The short-sleeved sweater seems like it came straight out of the dress-up box that I used as a kid. The pink capri pants are all about creating paunch. The combination makes me uncomfortable.
Category: WORST (AGAIN)
Then she added a weirdly big jean jacket to the mix and I felt sad.’
See, here’s a problem Hannah has. She wears dresses that, while they do gather a bit at the middle, are actually very loose. Let me speak to my own personal experience of why this is bad.
I, like Hannah, have something of a tummy. When I wear flowy dresses that gather at the middle, such as this one, the tummy is neither hidden nor clung to; instead, it’s simply there, another lump in a pile of lumps. It doesn’t work.
Also, is that collar leather?
Category: WORST (AGAIN)
Just to prove my point.
In this shot, Hannah is wearing that same bad, lumpy dress, BUT, over it she is wearing a nice, fitted coat. The belt cinches her waist, doing what the stupid dress cannot. And she looks great.
This is just another god damn flowy, loosely-gathered at the middle nightmare. Hannah, throw these away!
On the other hand, this is totally working. Because, again, there’s a BELT, and it’s really cinching her waist instead of just whispering around it. It’s a cute little outfit.
Category: BEST (AGAIN)
See? It makes her look put together even lying down.
THE worst. The WORST. This is so unspeakably awful, I don’t even know what to say. It’s like the shorteralls of last season, but it’s somehow even less flattering. And what’s happening with the hair? WHAT’S HAPPENING? Just wear jeans and a dirty t-shirt when you take the bus like the rest of us, Hannah!
I almost don’t need to mention The Bikini, but here it is anyway.
But now, see, here’s another good dress on her! It’s a little bit boxy, but her body is a little bit boxy, so it actually clings to her nicely and makes her look generally smaller and better put together. I’m in favor of this style of dress for Hannah.
To wrap up, let’s take a look at two of the best things Hannah has ever worn, in any season. One is this dress from:
Season 1 Episode 10, “She Did”
(AKA, Jessa’s wedding).
And the other is the dress from her birthday party, in
You’ll notice that these are similar dresses. They’re both a fun pattern that’s not too crazy, and they both flow but also very firmly tighten at her waist. In both, she looks appropriate, and even really nice.
As Hannah gets older, it seems that she’s learning a LITTLE BIT about what looks good on her body and what doesn’t (at least, she’s figuring it out for important events like birthdays, weddings and funerals). My hope for her is that, as she continues to age, she starts to wear more clothes that accentuate instead of distorting her shape.
(And also that she learns empathy, etc.)
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